Pain, in the physical and psychological sense, is a fact of our lives and it sometimes can seem that we spend more time dealing with and experiencing pain than we ever live pain-free. To admit to ourselves and others that we feel pain calls for a lowering of barriers that most of us do not usually feel comfortable in either acknowledging or learning how to deal with. Because of these issues, we often allow pain to go unchallenged, which can lead to the cultivation of even more pain as the sum total of our experiences grow throughout our lives.
In many cases, we mask the pain we feel through the outward expression of unacceptable or unwanted behaviors directed at others or at ourselves, on occasion. Pain within us hides behind a mask of our own creation but its presence is felt by us, always. There are several different ways in which we mask our pain, too. One of those is in the cultivation of feelings of betrayal that we can not seem to help but allow to bubble to the outermost surfaces of our psyche.
Naturally, once this sense of betrayal makes an appearance in our conscious psyche we begin to experience the need to betray, which in certain circumstances is a needed “breaking away” or leaving of the nest. We see this when we begin to move away from mothers and fathers as we age and mature. This is a sort of rebellion against the old way of doing things and a moving toward a new way of life for the person who “betrays” their parent or parents. However, failing to resolve this betrayal can leave a person with unaddressed issues that can carry this inner betrayal trait onward on project it onto other relationships such as with a spouse or an employer or business partners, for example.
Loneliness, experienced within ourselves, is another way we mask our pain and hide it behind a construct that prevents those around us – or even ourselves – from seeing the pain as it really is, and if it cannot be seen it can never be properly resolved. In many cases, loneliness begins to occur when there is a sudden and possibly unwelcome change to our objective reality or expectations for ourselves and others. When we do not receive the love we have come to expect in a relationship, for example, we begin to build a wall of psychic and physical pain.
Many people who report issues with pain also demonstrate traits related to obsession or having a zero-defect, perfectionist, mentality. They become overly attached to material possessions, including people who they come to believe “belong” to them. They have difficulty in letting go of perceived slights and hurts and they tend to obsess over the acquisition of material goods to a potentially harmful degree.
The old saying that “pride comes before the fall” is apt when it comes to describing a mask of pride that is used to disguise inner pain. Pride is not true strength and it will often hide feelings of inadequacy, especially when it is exhibited in inordinate amounts not proportional to the deeds or actions accomplished by a person, who now demands they be worthy of high praise. Some call it stubborn pride, for example.
Sometimes, psychic pain has donned a mask of anxiety in a person, which can manifest in actual physical problems such as anxiety attacks or chest pain and the like. It will also show up as depression which also can cause real physical issues in people, who refuse to let go of hurt or anger, for example. Oftentimes, they will feel ashamed of themselves for what would appear to be no reason when looked at by a disinterested observer.
Lastly, people will often disguise pain through acts of betrayal over and above that which is thought of as the normal sort that we commit when leaving the nest to strike out by themselves. Outward manifestations can include lying to others and to one self, punishment of others for perceived slights, manipulating people or seeking revenge for acts which might seem trivial to others.